New hair

Last night, my dear friend J dyed my hair for me. After a few months of sun-soaked highlights, I decided it was time to go dark for winter. As per usual, once it was finished, I became panicked that this was not a good look. This happens after every haircut - in fact, in high school, my mom started refusing to pick me up from the salon because I'd be such a crying brat.

I'm really good with change.

J reassured me that my return to the color I'd previously rocked for 25.5 years was in fact, a good choice. Still, I needed further approval. So at work today, I snapped a pic of the new hair and sent it to Joel for input.

After he responded positively, I thanked him and then sent him a follow-up text, saying, "I just took a photo of myself in my cube. Are you going to defriend me now?"

He said, "Haha of course not. I mean, there are no Cathy comic cutouts yet so you're still good."

Which is when I sent him this.

Unsurprisingly, this exchange was the highlight of my workday.

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Change the sheets, then change me

It has been eight Septembers since I last pulled on my perfectly hemmed plaid uniform skirt and four Septembers since I last printed out a syllabus, yet I still feel that fall is the most natural time of year to undergo change. Until my friend Tali mentioned that her coworkers would tear her apart for utilizing a September – August planner, it hadn’t occurred to me that beginning a year’s worth of plans in the fall could be construed as extremely juvenile for someone who’s just snuck past the entry level professional bracket.

Plus, it’s hard to think of fall as anything but a time for changes when this year, each autumn day seemed to sweep away everything that had ever felt constant to me.

First, my good friend Tristan left the Midwest for San Francisco this past month. This was difficult because Tris is one of those rare people who you’re always in the mood to hang out with. She’s as good at dissecting friend and family issues as she is at sitting wordlessly for hours watching Dexter. She’ll agree to a McDonald’s dollar sundae run, or an actual run. That’s not to say she’s a pushover – she’s also whip smart and unafraid to tell you what she thinks. Much like the departure of our close friend Emily last March, Tris’ move was bittersweet. My circle of close girlfriends in town continues to dwindle, but it’s impossible to be disappointed when your friends are making the right choices for their futures. Tris is meant to set another city on fire, and I can’t imagine anywhere else she’d be happier.

Another change was a long time coming. After realizing I missed a lot of the detail of the “crime” occurring outside my apartment last month, I got my eyes checked. I am slightly near-sighted and now the proud owner of a sweet pair of specs I wear while driving or watching anything involving a screen. The first time I put them on, I said, “Holy shit. The whole world is HD.” It’s been lovely to make out individual leaves and stare longingly at a crystal clear Coach Eric Taylor as he gave his Emmy acceptance speech.

Texas forever.

The last change is that I just moved out of my apartment into a one bedroom. I love so many things about my new place – it’s in a yellow house on a quiet street, it has a fireplace and free parking, it’s all mine. Yet I know that I’m going to miss my roommate and our old home desperately. I’ll miss coming home to her squeal “Geeeeeeeen!” from the back bedroom, and I’ll miss spontaneous double date breakfasts with our dudes on weekend mornings. I’ll miss the realization we’ll both be home on a weeknight and – huzzah! – together, we have the exact ingredients necessary for roasted veggie and brie sandwiches on toasted baguette. Scheduling time with someone I used to live ten feet will be a bizarre adjustment, but we’ve also joked that as our social circle becomes tighter, hanging out can now be deemed an event and not a loser roomie night in. (How’s that for glass half full?)

So there you have it. Change, change, change. I’m not good at it – is anyone? - but I’m old enough now to know that fighting it is an exercise in futility. Onward and upward, no?

__

For a song about change that will blow your socks off, check out Kathleen Edward's latest song, Change the Sheets.

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Webinar

Me: "So I was taking this webinar this morning and..."

Roommate: "I'm sorry, you were taking a WHAT?"

Me: "A webinar? Like an online seminar?"

Roommate: "You've got to be kidding me. Seriously. I am so not cut out for corporate life. That makes me want to die, Gina."

After considering Roommate taking a webinar, we cracked up. Roommate is not the type of gal to sit in a cube, or even at a desk near a window. She's meant to be on the go at all times, and that's one reason she'll be unstoppable in her chosen career path, nursing. There are many other reasons, too - she is smart, patient and kind but tough when she needs to be.

Roommate starts nursing school in just six days, and I'm so proud of her for shunning the cubicle/webinar lifestyle in favor of something that suits her better.

Personally, I kind of like webinars, provided they're interesting and not too sales-oriented. In fact, I was bummed when I had to miss one I'd signed up for today.

You're better than this, too, John Cleese.

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Unsuck-it.com

Unsuck-it is an online dictionary that translates all the buzzwords, euphemisms and other corporate jargon people spit out in meetings. It is, in a word, fabulous.

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Freelance

Over the last year, I’ve freelanced for three local marketing and advertising agencies. I love freelancing because it usually fosters a symbiotic relationship – I get great experience for my resume, a natural opportunity to network with other people in my field, and a little financial padding. The agency who hires me gets short-term, relatively cheap labor from someone they trust. The recession has caused my industry to reevaluate the need for full-time employees, which is a major source of anxiety for my marketing amigos. One upside of the downsizing is that freelancing opportunities are (at least in my experience) relatively easy to come by.

My third project this year is coming to a head, and I’ll be traveling the next four weekends to produce events in some pretty baller cities. My easy-going nature is a benefit in many event situations – I am an expert at rolling with the punches. However, the events I’m producing this month are very structured, and may require me to push back if things don’t go as planned.

Much like Beyonce has created Sasha Fierce as her onstage persona, I’ve decided the best way to approach these events is to create a badass event alter ego.

So far, I’ve come up with Badd Roxy. I think it needs some work, to be honest. Any suggestions? Please leave them in the comments. Having a perfect name is really the first step to rocking these events, I think.

The third picture is my go-to dance move, actually. Unfortunately, it is usually performed in yoga pants and a t-shirt instead of a mesh, House of Dereon two-piece ensemble.

Oh! And here’s a list of freelancing tips I published a few months ago.

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Day 33: Share some expertise

All of us here at Lent!Blog! have relatively different backgrounds. Share some advice/expertise that you think others could benefit from.

Last year I took on a six month freelance project, and I also coach on the side for five months out of the year. So far, I've found that I'm pretty good at balancing my regular career and life with my tack-on money makers. Here's what I've learned that other people might benefit from if they're thinking of freelancing or taking on a second job.

1. Establish ground rules for Job 2.0
My main rule is that Job 2.0 can't detract from Job 1.0. I can’t attend daytime meetings, can't look at project docs after 9 and before 5. (With dance, I leave work early a few times a week, but I give my boss a schedule of these days a week in advance.)

2. Follow up regularly
Unlike your 9-5, a freelance client isn’t able to walk by and see what you’re working on. If you have an impending freelance deadline, check in frequently. You’ll know you have the most up-to-date info on the project, and your client won’t be worried that you are leaving everything to the last minute.

3. Schedule meet-ups in the flesh, if possible
Again, water cooler chats are out of the question. By scheduling a weekly meeting you can be certain to go over your impending schedule live, negotiate any prior commitments that might get in the way (which in emails can seem demanding but in person are easier to get across), and get to the details that would take seven bullet points and serious color coding in email. Plus for god’s sake people, face to face interaction won’t kill you.

4. Take notes
From phone meetings, live meetings, and in my case, notes on events gone bad/good. If you’re working full-time plus, you’re going to be exhausted. Your brain won’t remember the little details, and you’ll be more likely to drop the ball on something. Notes ensure that you can keep up to speed on everything without feeling like you’re on overload.

5. Don’t overschedule the rest of your life
As much as possible, keep your schedule flexible. Usually my friends/family/boyfriend understand that I can’t participate in hastily planned activities, but I hate missing the spontaneous fun. My advice is to map out big things you want to attend, and stick to them. If you make sure to schedule in cabin weekends, date nights and family dinners, you’ll be less upset when you have to miss last minute happy hours or movie nights.

6. Wake up early
During the dance season, I'm often gone from 8 AM until 10 PM, so there is no room for poor planning. When I leave for work in the morning I’m stocked with the day’s food supply, a multitude of layering options, practice plans and handouts, workout gear... and a cup of coffee I had enough time to brew, ensuring that I feel good about the day ahead.

7. Double your coffee budget
Well, not really. But consider the cost of taking on the project - for me, both dance and freelancing meant a lot of gas money, as well as on-the-fly meals and extra coffee purchases. If you’re being paid an hourly rate, ask yourself how much of that will be used to cover your own sanity and driving costs. If it’s significant, reevaluate the value of the project. And always work on ways to cut down your own bottom line- accept rides to carpool with team members if you have them, keep a stash of Clif bars handy for when you have to miss a meal, make friends with the evening baristas in the hopes of scoring an upgraded drink.

8. Know that it’s all going to come crashing down
I’m not Type A, so I can handle the inevitable moment of crushing defeat pretty well. There are inevitable work-work conflicts, days when I forget lunch, pep rallies I have to supervise using PTO. As my very smart friend Greta (and, I learned, her good friend Ma$e) like to say, “Breathe, Stretch, Shake, Let it Go”. We’re probably not programmed to work full-time plus while balancing social lives, personal time, and acceptable hygiene standards. So when you mess up, make sure to keep it in perspective instead of assuming that your mistake is proof that your can’t pull off a second job.

Freelancing can be a responsible way to explore a potential new career path, or to pursue a passion that you can’t afford to work on full-time. But truth be told, it isn’t for everyone. If you’re like me and organized chaos is appealing and even a little thrilling, then do it! You won’t regret the challenge, even if you decide that you’re better at working during standard business hours.

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Day 25: Compliment

What is the best compliment you’ve ever been given? Do you agree with it? Go ahead, you can brag just this once. If you’re a Lent!Blog! participant, you’re probably pretty awesome.

You know that conversation during an amicable breakup when, to neutralize all the sadness and all the talk of what you are not, your soon-to-be ex tells you all the things that you are? And then you do the same, until you're both kind of weirdly happy while still being pretty damn upset? Well, my greatest compliment comes from one of those tragic-comic conversations I had a few years ago.

“You’re the most resourceful person I’ve ever met,” he said.

It wasn't romantic, it wasn't even sentimental. But I loved that he said it. I think about it all the time – I relish in how it is true now, and wonder how it will impact my future.

Many people are intelligent, and can utilize the latent skills within to propel themselves forward. Others are lucky – born in the right circumstances, or always in the right place at the right time.

Those are both nice qualities, and I think I have a hint of each of them. But I know my real strength lies in my inner tenacity, my ability to ask the right questions and inability to say no. The best part of being resourceful, though, is that it requires a wide net of supporters. Often, finding the best solution occurs not by Googling or through trial and error, but by filing through your contacts and realizing you know a guy, who knows a guy, who can help. Being resourceful means that you have to maintain relationships so when you do ask for help, people are more than willing to comply.

I’m terrible at Excel and I once nearly had a meltdown when some long-hidden macros popped out of an old document I'd repurposed. The deadline was looming. I cursed myself for not having started from scratch, cursed myself for not having a left brain, and then, I emailed the document to the above ex-boyfriend with a plea for help. He was, among other things, the left brain guy, and his work life consisted mostly of complex things in Excel I couldn’t even begin to understand. In three minutes, I had the spreadsheet back, no longer riddled with auto-tabbing columns and other problematic additives.

In the email, he wrote “Happy to help.” And I know he was.

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Day eight: Buzzword

The participants of Lent!Blog! all work in marketing/advertising and law - industries where big vocabularies and good word choices are imperative to success. That said...

What's one buzzword you hear at work that you're so over?

My buzzword is stakeholder.

I'm going to employ the #1 writing no-no technique and give you the definition of this word according to businessdictionary.com:

Stakeholder: A person, group or organization that has direct or indirect stake in an organization because it can be affected by the organization's actions, objectives, and policies. Key stakeholders in a business organization include creditors, customers, directors, employees, government (and its agencies), owners (shareholders), suppliers, unions, and the community from which the business draws its resources.

To sum up, anyone who comes within a five foot pole of a company (or heck, anyone who comes near a group of people standing on a corner with a loose purpose in mind) is a stakeholder. By this definition, I'm a stakeholder in Caribou Coffee, a great number of Thai restaurants that dot my neighborhood, and also in my own company. Aren't I also a stakeholder in both non-profits I support (say, MPR, Planned Parenthood) and those I do not (the NRA, anything Tim Pawlenty's been snuggling up to in the last two months)?

I get that we need general terms to use when discussing hypotheticals. And in all honesty, it's usually vendors or other 3rd parties who use 'stakeholder' because they aren't as educated on our biz as we are. Still though, I find myself picturing Buffy with a stake any time this word is brought up... which I'm sure has never been the purpose of the meeting.

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Signs of exhaustion

I went to Target for socks, spent over $100, and forgot to buy socks.

I slept in my work pants on Monday night without realizing it.

I've only eaten Lean Cuisines for work all week.

I said "Mmmmmm" while eating one of said Lean Cuisines yesterday.

I wore a really terrible forest green and gold combo to work on Tuesday. The worst part of that was getting mistaken for a Packer fan who was not only still bragging via clothes two days late, but doing so in business casual rather than the traditional jersey route.

I tried to pour chicken broth into my coffee this morning. I thought it was soy milk. Two minutes later with a new brew, I nearly did the same thing with olive oil and Torani syrup.

I got a haircut on Wednesday, and was conned into returning for "Phase II" this afternoon by my new stylist BFF. Probably I'm going to end up looking like an anime character. Probably it will be expensive. Probably I won't notice, so please be gentle when you next see me in real life.

On an exciting note, I'm off to watch my team compete in Sections tomorrow. If they place in the top 3 in either dance, they advance to the state tournament. If they don't, the season is over.

I'm so not ready to say goodbye to these kids. Send good juju!

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Future Self (Reverb10, Day 21)

December 21 – Future Self.

Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?) (Author: Jenny Blake)


______

1. Date! Date! Date!

2. Go with your instincts at dance. Fight for the girls who are supposed to be there. But don't ignore the ones who are pissed off all the time- they have a reason. Teach them how to use their emotions to heighten their performance.

3. Aside from taking off time to save your sanity, save up your PTO. The trip to Europe could happen and even if it doesn't, you'll have free staycation time during the two-month period of warm weather in MN.

4. Buy that MacBook. Your seven year old ThinkPad is stifling your creativity.

5. When dance ends, find another freelancing gig, preferably writing-based.

6. Start cooking again. Your three-week stint in October was not a fluke.

______

Bonus - 10 years ago:

1. The ballet teacher who squeezes your thighs and clucks hasn't eaten since before you were born. Ignore her and carry on with your carb-loving ways.

2. In fact, keep eating banana chocolate chip muffins for breakfast and lunch daily because that won't always be an option. Don't stop until your pants get too tight, most likely in fall 2006.

3. The guy who flirts with you via AIM and then ignores you in the hallway will come close to failing out of high school. His cold shoulder will bring you closer to the friends you're supposed to have - the ones with A averages, quick wits and bright futures. Stop being so pathetic about it.

4. Despite what your teacher tells you, you will get into college if you drop advanced chemistry in favor of journalism.

5. Before you ask that woman to cornrow your hair for sophomore winter formal, ask yourself, "Is this really a good look for me?"

Double bonus to myself five years ago: No, you shouldn't go to that frat party.

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5 Minutes (Reverb10, Day 15)

December 15 – 5 Minutes
Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010. (Author: Patti Digh)

____

Much like Sara and Greta, I'm lacking the original spark I felt for Reverb10. I'm not sure I'm the right type of blogger for this project. Nevertheless, here are the top moments of 2010 I'd never want to forget.


Getting the new job

Mary's return home from the Peace Corps

Moving out

My dance team placing 2nd in MN State Tournament

Landing my first freelance project

This moment in my relationship with ex-BF

My trip to Nashville to see Joel

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Wisdom (Reverb10, Day 10)

December 10 – Wisdom
What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? (Author: Susannah Conway)

______


I’ve written about this a little, but the wisest decision I made this year was to leave my old company. The decision was not easy – I loved my company, the industry, my co-workers. But when it came down to the wire, I didn’t love my job. As the lowest on the totem pole, I was spending the majority of my time on a litany of small tasks that fell to me by default. There wasn’t enough time for me to work on my development, and there wasn’t enough hope that someday soon, I’d be promoted out of this catch-all role.

When a woman I was freelancing with told me about a writing and social media position, I asked her to recommend me without thinking twice. Then I started to panic, which only relented in the middle of my interview two days later. I was explaining my college major, Rhetoric, and how the study of Greek philosophers is still relevant in the marketing world today when I realized that I didn’t even recognize myself. I was confident, bright-eyed, well-spoken, engaging. I had ideas.

I soon realized my presence in that interview came from a desire to be heard out, a need to be involved on strategy instead of just tactical execution. The new job would be an exit from entry level and into the 2nd tier, an opportunity I knew I was ready for.

Then I got the offer. Immediately, I thought of the self-directed projects I’d been working on, how the social media strategy I’d slaved over would now be dead in the water. I was bummed that I’d be stepping out before making my impact. I was an emotional mess, and I felt like a quitter.

I wondered what would have happened if I’d fought for a bigger role, taken on more duties, worked longer hours to propel my career forward instead of letting myself feel stifled in an admin role. I won’t ever know for sure, but I do know that in my new job I’ve been growing, naturally, into a more insightful and strategic thinker, and a better writer. I’m trusting myself more and I’m making more recommendations.

The wisest decision I made all year, then, was not just to leave one job in favor of another. It was to push myself forward before I was ready, and to not look back wondering what could have been.

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Let go (Reverb10, Day 5)

December 5 – Let Go.

What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

(Author: Alice Bradley)

___________


This year, I let go of a job in my dream industry in order to live out a bigger dream- to write for a living. Along the way, I let go of feelings of inadequacy; my confidence sky-rocketed as I contributed to my team and received positive feedback.

I suppose I let go of my fear of taking risks. I learned that even if things aren't bad (I really did love job 1.0), it doesn't mean you should be afraid to look for something better. Something that is equally challenging and rewarding.

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One word (Reverb10, Day One)

Yeah, whatever, I'm back. It's quiet in the suburbs, y'all. I can't sleep here. I read everyone's Reverb10 entries and got mad jealous. So last night I wrote this even though I told myself I really couldn't blog for awhile. I'm fully aware of how lame my one-day exit fromt the blogosphere is. Moving on... Reverb10!! (Hands clapping excitedly)

December 1 One Word.
Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?
(Author: Gwen Bell)

__

In order to talk 2010, I have to remind you of the hell that was 2009. I started 2009 jobless, close to penniless, and living in my parents' house. So, that year was a complete reconstruction, the gathering of basics that I so needed.

2010 was about more - I added on to my life with reckless abandon. A new job meant more responsibility, and required more concentration. The job also gave me more flexibility in work hours, which I traded in for more duties as a dance coach. My first-ever freelance gig gave me more experience but also more sleepless nights. My new apartment and car gave me more bills. A new relationship gave me more support than I knew was possible, and now that it has ended I am filled with more gratitude than ever that we took a risk and then pulled out before it was too late. More homecomings, reunions, and trips reminded me that my web of friends has never been more full, and that it is in fact likely to keep growing.

2010 was about more but looking back, the mores are now too much. 2011, as I mentioned, will be about balance. Prioritizing the duties and tasks, and making time only for the people who matter. Blocking out the noise and remembering that a full life is one you have the time to enjoy.

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Getting back on the horse. Or heel.

I was feeling pretty spunky this morning as I walked into work. 3 snoozes on my alarm, new high-heeled boots, a good hair day, a soy latte in hand. Wednesdays don't get much better than this.

Any time I have thoughts like this, I should probably bring myself back to reality. Because as I was reflecting on my fabulous new footwear that brings me to a solid 5'9", I bit it in the middle of my work lobby.

My natural instinct was not to stabilize myself and remain on my feet, but rather to clutch onto my latte with both hands while falling onto my knees and narrowly missing a face-to-floor interaction. There I was, prostrate, offering my latte to the gods of real estate in exchange for their mercy.

Somehow I managed to say "Ohhhhh my word" instead of the string of expletives that was running through my head at warp speed.

I slowly got up, carefully stepped over my coffee puddle, and proceeded to walk miserably to the elevators as the admins of other offices stared at me from within their fishbowls.

Twelve hours before, I'd given a lecture to my dancers on the importance of walking confidently. I think today's lesson will be on grace. Perhaps humility. And if we have time, the importance of breaking in new footwear.

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Turn Around, Bright Eyes

Growing up, my parents nixed all expensive extracurriculars. As a result, I've never learned to ski, golf, or play tennis. I never went to overnight camp. Instead, I spent my summers putting on backyard carnivals, the finale of which was a one-woman acrobatic show that culminated in a forward diving somersault from the A-frame of the jungle gym. When that wrapped up for the season, I started a calligraphy business- my best seller was a neon sign that proudly proclaimed "God Bless This Mess!" in what I called 'Victorian script'. When a friend recently told me he once spent a summer building a to-scale replica of the Chicago skyline, I totally knew where he was coming from. I'd spent an entire childhood learning how to entertain myself.

I love the way I grew up and I wouldn't change any of it to have attended hourly lessons at a country club or make lanyards at Camp Hochiwaka. Yet every once in a while, I'm reminded that my upbringing puts me at a bizarre disadvantage. Like today, when I had to go on a golf outing for work, which I'd completely forgotten about until I showed up at the office this morning.

There I was, taking my first ever swing right off the tee, in front of co-workers I've known for exactly two weeks. Good times.

It was in this moment that I cursed my parents- first for getting my mom's utter lack of athletic ability, second for not ever having been brought to a driving range. Then I cursed myself for forgetting about the outing.

Then I started to pay attention instead of thinking of all the people I wanted to curse, because in my usual daydream state I putted the first hole with my 7 iron. Which was actually not the most embarrassing moment of the day- that came when I hit my head on the golf cart as I got in. Two different times. Ask to see my bruise if you are wondering if this entry is purely hyperbolic.

Before you start wondering if my co-workers now hate me, or just feel bad for me, I should mention I lucked out because one of them was also a first-time golfer and the other was skilled but not at all judgmental. Plus...

Something happened on hole four- I hit the ball on the first try, and it went sailing IN THE AIR instead of skipping like a smooth rock across the water as all my others had. It went pretty far, too- the hole was a par-4 so I didn't hit the green but I did stay right in the center of the fairway. In the end, it was the best shot of the day for our group. A sigh of relief, as always, in these situations- I'd just hoped to be pass-able.

Much like my calligraphy sign business, my day job is to find the right words for the right moments. Like my one woman carnival show, my night job now is to pick the best combination of music, costumes, and choreography. It's impossible to not see the parallels between the five-year-old me and the adult me; the life I'm mapping out now is perhaps just a more lucrative, adult version of the one I started twenty years ago. I'm grateful I learned early who I was, and why it was important for me to stay equal parts word nerd and bedazzled spinning top.

I'm grateful I learned when to laugh at myself, when to take pride in myself, and how to remain unscathed by moments that others would find embarrassing.

Most of all, I'm grateful my parents never splurged on a video camera so there is no evidence of me bossing around my light man (neighbor) as I walked across the stage (backyard) in a gold leotard and fringed skirt to begin my opening number, a Total Eclipse of the Heart/Toni Braxton mash-up.

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8 Questions

Jamie tagged me in her 8 Questions post, and now it's my turn to answer her eight questions. This is good news for you, readers, because now that my job actually entails writing, I don't really feel like doing it after hours. It reminds me of the days when my roommate babysits after she works a 10-hour day at her preschool- she knows she loves kids but can't quite remember why.

1. What are your top 2 cities in the world?
Top city is London- the culture, navigating the Tube, shopping at Covent freaking Garden... love it all. I went when I was sixteen and am convinced that if I went as a legal adult that could enter the pubs I'd never come home.

Second... a tie, between Seattle and Nashville. Totally silly because those are the last two cities I've been to but I love the charm of Nashville (southern but not SOUTH) and the chill vibe/walkability of Seattle.

I'm 100% certain that if I ever go to Austin, TX, it would be my favorite city of all time. It's on the top of my to-visit list.


2. Are you doing what you love or doing what you have to?
How appropos! Just started a new job and even though it's early in, I really am doing what I love. After a year and a half in an entry level role at a small agency, I've landed a corporate gig, writing internal/external communications and executing social media channels. In this job market, it's hard to be picky... so I had stayed put and started to give up the ghost on writing as a career. My freelance fairy godmother and countless others reminded me that it's never okay to settle and through some old-school networking, I found a position that fits my skill-set and personality. Still pinching myself.


3. Coffee or tea?
Coffee. I went through a rough patch about a month ago, but I'm back and better than ever. Soy lattes, hot or iced, are the true loves of my life.


4. Describe the moment in your life when you felt the most loved.
I'm not not so good at the gush and I'm very poor at quantifying love... but I'm positive that the last month has collectively been the most loved-up month of my life. Parents are checking in constantly re: the new job, and congratulating me like a three year old in toilet training each time I check off a new accomplishment. BF, the easy going ying to my frazzled yang, has reminded me everyday that life is worth slowing down for. When I sometimes refuse this advice, he gamely joins me under the storm cloud without once mentioning that I need to learn to batten the hatches. Mare's homecoming has breathed new life into my previously stagnant social life, and time with my girlfriends has never been better. Roomie tap dances with me at 11 PM, until we collapse on the couch and chair wheezing from laughter. And I spent four glorious days with JSP in Nashville; I didn't (much to his chagrin) blog about this trip because in the end... every attempted post didn't do it justice. We're better now than we ever were in Wisco because we're confident in our decisions and life plans but at the same time, there was a wistfulness that threaded through our trip as we realized that we'll likely remain a plane ride away from one another for quite some time. And possibly forever.

Oh dear. I guess I am good at the gush, after all.


5. Who do you think had the single biggest impact on your life so far?
My mom. I've never met anyone who is so gifted in the social sphere. Everyone, everyone, loves my mom. As a child I realized that if someone didn't think she was the greatest person alive, they weren't worth knowing. I still follow that rule; it's never failed me.


6. What song lyrics say exactly what you're feeling right now?
Ray LaMontagne's whole new album is speaking to me, especially the song Old Before Your Time:

It took so long to see
That truth was all around me
Now the wren has gone to roost and the sky is turning gold
And like the sky, my soul is also turnin
Turnin from the past at last and all I've left behind
Could it be that I am finally learnin?

Oh gorgeous, bearded man, I love you.


7. Pro sports or college ball?
Depends on the sport. Pro baseball, college basketball, pro football but I love Badger gamedays with my Wisco alums in town.


8. What book do you really, really want to see made into a movie?
Charms for the Easy Life by Kaye Gibbons. It's my favorite book of all time, and no you can't borrow it because I like to read it about 3x a year. My dream cast (assuming that because it's in a dream all these people don't have to be age-appropriate now, or even alive) is:

Katherine Hepburn as Charlie Kate
Ashley Judd as Sophia
Kyle Chandler (smokeshow!) as Mr. Baines
Rory Gilmore as Margaret
Ryan Gosling (double smokeshow!) as Tom Hawkings

I've been casting this movie for something like 8 years in my head, so unless they can bring back Kat from the dead, they'd better not make it and ruin my life.

____

I'm tagging my as-yet-untagged blogging BFFs- KC, ProntoPup, LH, Joel (ahem), Sara, and Teresa and anyone else for my 8 questions.

1. What's one obscure-ish website you visit?
2. What's your go-to catchphrase?
3. Worst job you ever had? (T- please share at length the summer of Come Back Inn. It's why I included this question. A thank you!)
4. One moment you'd like to relive- to change something
5. One moment you'd like to relive where you wouldn't change anything
6. Favorite alcoholic drink
7. I think the majority of you are, like me, born rule-followers. What's one time in your life you broke the rules, and how did it turn out?
8. At weddings, do you participate in the Electric Slide, Macarena, and Chicken Dance? Why/why not?

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Turn and face the strain

I started my new job yesterday. I'm working on a PC, my department is bigger than the whole of my last company, and in an effort to not look like such a slob, I'm on a whole new pencil skirt and heel kick. Things are different.

At one point, I realized my computer didn't have printing capabilities set up and so, like all marketing professionals, I started to google "Add a printer to PC".

Then I stopped and got IT to do it for me.

This was a big moment because it means in this job, I'm not IT.

It's the little things, like not having to toggle between multiple interfaces while dry heaving because a presentation is frozen on the screen and no one's saved it in 4 hours, that really make life worth it.

Happy Weekend!

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The sound (of my alarm) and the fury

New job gives me some flexibility on arrival time. My immediate reaction was “Whooo!”, shortly followed by “Oh no. Okay, game plan. Self-control. Make a routine. No deviations. This is not a drill.”

In college, I’d ignore my alarm as I created a litany of excuses about why attending class was unecessary - 'I went last Monday!' 'I did the reading!' 'I didn’t do the reading so I won’t understand anything anyway!' The best/worst example of this was in my freshman year math class, in which we had 10 10-pt. quizzes throughout the semester. It was week 5, and I’d gotten all 10s so far. While half asleep but still able to re-program my alarm, my brain said to me:

“You keep getting 10s. You’re basically a Calculus genius. Even if you get a zero this week, you’ll still end up with a 90% average on these quizzes. They only make up 60% of your grade! At worst you’ll get an AB and at best, your homework and participation will boost you to an A! This is a FOOLPROOF PLAN that only requires you to go back to bed immediately for another hour and a half.”

By quiz #7, I was scoring somewhere in the 30% range. I had to attend a 7-hour extra credit project alongside my kind TA in order to land a very low B. (But damn, was I well-rested for it.)

By senior year, I would plead with Tali to wake me up. “Listen, I have ballet tomorrow. I’m out of absences. I realize this is not personally your problem, but I will fail beginner ballet if I don’t go. If for some reason I am not in an embarrassing leotard in the kitchen making coffee at 7:30 AM I need you to come in and club me. Ok?” It was surely fun for her to be burdened with the weight of my college career while I slept peacefully in the next room.

You can see where I’m going with this. It’s go-time, on the ‘wake up to your alarm, you’re an adult’ situation. The only thing that has been ensuring my timeliness at Job #1 is sheer guilt and the fear of getting caught for being late. I’m not sure I can handle the personal responsibility that is coming up in one week.

Any tips? I’m really a morning person once I’m out of bed- I just try to delay that moment for as long as humanly possible. And no, setting multiple alarms 5 minutes apart doesn’t deter me. It just makes BF want to smother me with my pillow, so don’t suggest that.

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It's all funny til someone gets shot in the leg

This week has been a dead sprint to the finish line- something new for me, as my runs usually end with me muttering “DO NOT GIVE UP YOU PANSY” as I trudge limply down the path gasping for air and/or potato chips.

Where was I? Oh yeah, I’m busy. Busy to the point where last night there was a moment when I had one hand covered in shredded zucchini bits (thanks BF, for this) while the other hand transferred the music on my work computer to my personal computer via USB drive. It was 12:15 AM.

I looked up at my roommate in a moment of self-defeat and said, “What are the odds that someone else in this world is up right now doing exactly this? Could someone else be shredding zucchini, transferring music, and trash-talking people who eat Fair Food year round?”

“I sure hope so. Otherwise, what the hell are we trying to save?” she replied. She barely got through it without cracking up.

This is why I love my roommate. Can you all name the movie she was quoting? I’ll give you a hint by saying that the actor she was quoting has a hot celebrity wife and two very cute kids- one of whom Joel thinks is the "Spawn of Satan".

(Answer)

Shout out to KC and Dan who I saw at the Fair last night IN REAL LIFE. Somehow we didn't discuss if Dan had eaten his namesake food item- do you consume multiple pronto pups in order to celebrate your name?

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