Zorbing

Let's celebrate Friday and the end of this challenge by listening to the first track of the Stornoway album Beachcomber's Windowsill. This song is called Zorbing and I personally enjoy trying to sing the very low backup chants, which I'm sure you'd find unbelievably attractive.

Because Joel refuses to blog despite being the funniest person I know, here are the (verbatim) musings he shared with me after watching this video for the first time:

1. Through centuries of inbreeding, British people now only have like 15 faces they could be born with.
2. List of resemblances of their faces: Simon Pegg, Jamie Oliver, Alan Cumming
3. The drummer is hot sans that douche fedora
4. The ukelele dude (simon pegg) looked like a drunk mumbling along with the song.
5. You think you have a small mouth? Did you see the lead singer?

That's a wrap. Thanks, ProntoPup and friends!

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And we're back

Hey did you know Easter hasn't yet happened? My bad, Lent!Blog! participants and beloved readers.

I had a dream last night that I was on a blind date with a man who informed me that the Winkelvoss twins were the true inventors of Facebook. Indignantly, I said something along the lines of "I know Mark Zuckerberg, and the Winklevosses are NOT Mark Zuckerberg." Then I threw my napkin on the table and walked out. It was riveting stuff. I felt like the world's saddest person when I woke up. Is this really what occupies the deep recesses of my mind?

Anyway, it brought up an interesting point - in my dream, my dating litmus test was apparently the age-old totally ridiculous conflict between three rich kids from Harvard.

What is your dating litmus test? Explain. Have you ever broken it for *swoon* true love?

IRL, I have a thousand dating litmus tests, the majority of which were first decided my junior year of college during an epic conversation with my friend Emily. Some of them are silly - no puka shells, for god's sake! - and some of them were more serious - I remember wishing for someone who was neither godless nor born-again. Some were depressing to even have to write down (the carpenter jean is dead, fellas. Unless your job requires that you have a loop on your jeans, you need to retire them. Preferably this would be accomplished via a bonfire, and you should invite the ex-girlfriends who stood by you through thick and thin, light-wash utility denim to give the eulogy).

Now, at the ripe old age of 25, I know all the above doesn't mater. Emily is madly in love with someone who loves both puka shells AND carpenter jeans, for example. And I've had fascinating conversations with guys who sit on both sides of the religious spectrum. Some dealbreakers aren't as black and white once you're in the thick of a relationship, but there is one I cannot bend on.

My biggest litmus test is how guys talk about the LGBT community. I have no patience for anyone who uses derogatory slang, or who can't have an intelligent discussion on gay rights. The "you're so gay" slams, still a popular favorite among some guys stuck in high school ten years later, are an unbelievable turnoff. Alternately, those who can engage in thoughtful conversation about this topic are usually mature, intelligent, and confident in themselves. All of those are, naturally, turn-ons.

In the end, it comes down to this - I've got this guy on a pedestal:

And anyone who doesn't believe that he deserves every happiness under the law, doesn't deserve to date me.

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Golden Globes - live text or something

One thing you may not know about me, if you don't know me IRL, is that I'm one of those awful twenty-something women who know more about celebrity culture than they do about... well, probably anything.

I don't have time to read shamelessly flawed internet tabloid sites anymore, but I do still love a good awards show. Pretty people, in pretty dresses, alternately smiling or smoldering at the camera depending on their current publicist's advice? I'm all over it.

Luckily, so is Joel. When the Golden Globes were on this past Sunday, we casually began texting our red carpet opinions. 3+ hours and nearly FOUR HUNDRED text messages later, Gervais concluded and our epic text session ended. Which is when I told him that I was planning to edit out the F-words and post some of our better banter to this blog.

If you don't like swearing or people who spend their lives judging others, then I'd come back next week.

Let's do this.

Sometimes we just say what probably everyone in the planet was thinking at that time (Justin Bieber):

Often, we say what only we are thinking at the same time:

(Helen Mirren):

(Sandra Bullock):

Sometimes I'm reminded that Joel is 1,000 times funnier than me (Tilda Swinton):

(Lea Michele, then Alicia Keys):

Sometimes all is right with the world (Joseph Gordon Levitt, Natalie Portman):

Sometimes we're off-topic but can keep up with one another (Milla Jovovich, Michael C. Hall):

My favorite moment of the night was when we began scripting our own movie based on the actor onstage (Clare Danes):

We're probably going to find a way to live-blog the Oscars. I haven't told him that yet, but I think it could be epic.

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Achieve (Reverb10, Day 28)

December 28 – Achieve
What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today.

(Author: Tara Sophia Mohr)

_____

I've had really insightful conversations with a few male friends over the course of the past week. In each instance, we've ended up discussing how best to move on from a difficult situation - how to achieve a balance so that you neither dwell for too long nor blast forward unhealthily. As one of them astutely put it, "Life is, in the end, about how you deal with the moments of instability." So this year, I want to achieve resilience.

There's no one trick to being resilient. Both your strategy and underlying tactics will change depending on what you are trying to move past - a failed relationship or friendship, the end of a job, the realization that you might not achieve what you set out to do. Perhaps even the realization that you aren't the type of person you always hoped you'd be.

But resilience does have one common thread regardless of the situation: consciousness. Forcing yourself to accept that something difficult happened. Then, reflecting honestly on how it happened, who was at fault, how your character and judgment may have affected the situation. Finally, the ability to move past with purpose so your internal cues are not directed by damage or uncertainty.

Time and circumstance can chip away at the person you intend to be, if you don't stop them. Resilience is about wading through at your own pace so you can learn from your mistakes while keeping both eyes on the future.

So - how will I feel when I "achieve resilience"? Probably healthy, whole, alive, grateful. Less guilty, confused, and cynical. It could be pretty life-changing, so I intend to start right now.

Thanks to Reverb for forcing me into intimacy on this page. Yikes was this a difficult one.

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5 Minutes (Reverb10, Day 15)

December 15 – 5 Minutes
Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010. (Author: Patti Digh)

____

Much like Sara and Greta, I'm lacking the original spark I felt for Reverb10. I'm not sure I'm the right type of blogger for this project. Nevertheless, here are the top moments of 2010 I'd never want to forget.


Getting the new job

Mary's return home from the Peace Corps

Moving out

My dance team placing 2nd in MN State Tournament

Landing my first freelance project

This moment in my relationship with ex-BF

My trip to Nashville to see Joel

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Moment (Reverb10, Day 3)

December 3 – Moment.

Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards)
____

The moment I felt most alive this year was during a hike in Nashville with my best friend, Joel.

Let's start with one basic truth: neither Joel or I are really the 'hiking type'. We much prefer to be indoors, sedentary, preferably surrounded by fried food. So the fact that during my short stay we decided to get active was impressive and out of character.

We stayed at a steady enough pace that we were making headway, but slow enough to talk. Really talk. Subjects you can't talk about in coffee shops. Stuff that can only be said when you're surrounded so closely by trees on all sides that you're sure the leaves are absorbing your secrets as soon as they spill out.

Then we slowed down to talk about how shitty it was that we don't live in the same city anymore. And how we probably won't for a long time, if ever.

At the top of the path was a bench that overlooked Nashville and the surrounding areas. Hundreds of couples had sat there before us reflecting, as evidenced by the initialed etchings in the wood. Even with this cliched scene staring me in the face, I knew that we had hit a high point.

I had just landed a new fabulous job, Joel was finding his way in the city below. Despite living apart for a year, we weren't drowning without one another. We had found a way to clear our own paths even though we weren't able to clear them together.

In the day-to-day, we remain connected on a micro level - a daily barrage of emails, texts, tweets to remind one another of the humor, political leanings, values that we share.

The visits, though, are what really brings our friendship to life. Anyone can laugh at a political gaffe or get upset about a poor choice in Oscar hosts. It's the people you can peel back all layers for that make you come alive.

Speaking of, let's go ahead and get even more sappy because one of my favorite quotes of all time is about coming alive:

Photo Credit

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8 Questions

Jamie tagged me in her 8 Questions post, and now it's my turn to answer her eight questions. This is good news for you, readers, because now that my job actually entails writing, I don't really feel like doing it after hours. It reminds me of the days when my roommate babysits after she works a 10-hour day at her preschool- she knows she loves kids but can't quite remember why.

1. What are your top 2 cities in the world?
Top city is London- the culture, navigating the Tube, shopping at Covent freaking Garden... love it all. I went when I was sixteen and am convinced that if I went as a legal adult that could enter the pubs I'd never come home.

Second... a tie, between Seattle and Nashville. Totally silly because those are the last two cities I've been to but I love the charm of Nashville (southern but not SOUTH) and the chill vibe/walkability of Seattle.

I'm 100% certain that if I ever go to Austin, TX, it would be my favorite city of all time. It's on the top of my to-visit list.


2. Are you doing what you love or doing what you have to?
How appropos! Just started a new job and even though it's early in, I really am doing what I love. After a year and a half in an entry level role at a small agency, I've landed a corporate gig, writing internal/external communications and executing social media channels. In this job market, it's hard to be picky... so I had stayed put and started to give up the ghost on writing as a career. My freelance fairy godmother and countless others reminded me that it's never okay to settle and through some old-school networking, I found a position that fits my skill-set and personality. Still pinching myself.


3. Coffee or tea?
Coffee. I went through a rough patch about a month ago, but I'm back and better than ever. Soy lattes, hot or iced, are the true loves of my life.


4. Describe the moment in your life when you felt the most loved.
I'm not not so good at the gush and I'm very poor at quantifying love... but I'm positive that the last month has collectively been the most loved-up month of my life. Parents are checking in constantly re: the new job, and congratulating me like a three year old in toilet training each time I check off a new accomplishment. BF, the easy going ying to my frazzled yang, has reminded me everyday that life is worth slowing down for. When I sometimes refuse this advice, he gamely joins me under the storm cloud without once mentioning that I need to learn to batten the hatches. Mare's homecoming has breathed new life into my previously stagnant social life, and time with my girlfriends has never been better. Roomie tap dances with me at 11 PM, until we collapse on the couch and chair wheezing from laughter. And I spent four glorious days with JSP in Nashville; I didn't (much to his chagrin) blog about this trip because in the end... every attempted post didn't do it justice. We're better now than we ever were in Wisco because we're confident in our decisions and life plans but at the same time, there was a wistfulness that threaded through our trip as we realized that we'll likely remain a plane ride away from one another for quite some time. And possibly forever.

Oh dear. I guess I am good at the gush, after all.


5. Who do you think had the single biggest impact on your life so far?
My mom. I've never met anyone who is so gifted in the social sphere. Everyone, everyone, loves my mom. As a child I realized that if someone didn't think she was the greatest person alive, they weren't worth knowing. I still follow that rule; it's never failed me.


6. What song lyrics say exactly what you're feeling right now?
Ray LaMontagne's whole new album is speaking to me, especially the song Old Before Your Time:

It took so long to see
That truth was all around me
Now the wren has gone to roost and the sky is turning gold
And like the sky, my soul is also turnin
Turnin from the past at last and all I've left behind
Could it be that I am finally learnin?

Oh gorgeous, bearded man, I love you.


7. Pro sports or college ball?
Depends on the sport. Pro baseball, college basketball, pro football but I love Badger gamedays with my Wisco alums in town.


8. What book do you really, really want to see made into a movie?
Charms for the Easy Life by Kaye Gibbons. It's my favorite book of all time, and no you can't borrow it because I like to read it about 3x a year. My dream cast (assuming that because it's in a dream all these people don't have to be age-appropriate now, or even alive) is:

Katherine Hepburn as Charlie Kate
Ashley Judd as Sophia
Kyle Chandler (smokeshow!) as Mr. Baines
Rory Gilmore as Margaret
Ryan Gosling (double smokeshow!) as Tom Hawkings

I've been casting this movie for something like 8 years in my head, so unless they can bring back Kat from the dead, they'd better not make it and ruin my life.

____

I'm tagging my as-yet-untagged blogging BFFs- KC, ProntoPup, LH, Joel (ahem), Sara, and Teresa and anyone else for my 8 questions.

1. What's one obscure-ish website you visit?
2. What's your go-to catchphrase?
3. Worst job you ever had? (T- please share at length the summer of Come Back Inn. It's why I included this question. A thank you!)
4. One moment you'd like to relive- to change something
5. One moment you'd like to relive where you wouldn't change anything
6. Favorite alcoholic drink
7. I think the majority of you are, like me, born rule-followers. What's one time in your life you broke the rules, and how did it turn out?
8. At weddings, do you participate in the Electric Slide, Macarena, and Chicken Dance? Why/why not?

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Four strong hands on the steering wheel

Road Trip Pop Quiz

Not everyone can be the nicest girl in the world, as Joel and I quickly learned on our road trip. Enjoy this pop quiz, which will give you a little taste of what driving from Vegas to Mpls in two days will do to two relatively sane and kind people. We managed to have a pretty sweet time, and impressed Joel's dad who was legitimately shocked that we were still friends after twenty six hours in a car together.

1. Who said the following: "I have yet to see someone who is NOT overweight in this state." (Bonus points if you guess the state)

2. Who did an "awwwww" after spotting an old man in a yarmulke in a car driving past in Nebraska?

3. Who admired a "sleek" car passing by, only to see that it was a Buick?

4. Who brought up Cindy McCain's breasts in a political conversation with Joel's relatives in Colorado?

5. Who first demanded that the Dixie Chicks' "Long Way Around" be played?

6. Who was more likely to scream things like "regulation, you jackass!" and "Shut your pie hole, Old Man River!" while listening to a very static-y debate on the radio?

7. Who first sang the "ding ding ding" theme song from Deliverance when seeing some pretty special looking towns on the drive?

8. Who first brought up the idea of the passenger being allowed to have a few cocktails to spice up the drive?

9. Who demanded a full listen-through of the Mamma Mia soundtrack at 9 p.m. on day two?

10. Who would declare "the hunter has become the hunted...." in a sinister voice every time we'd end up behind a car that had previously been tailing us?

11. Who displayed more road rage in their 5 hours of driving than the other driver did in their 20+ hours of driving?

12. Who spent the entire road trip trying to figure out how to sarcastically bring back the phrase "GOD FORBID!"

13. Who started screaming "COP! Oh god slow down!" to the driver and then started cackling at their funny joke a few seconds later, as the driver nearly started to cry?

14. Who, despite all odds, did not become a James Taylor fan after being forced to listen to his greatest hits?

15. Who kissed up to Joel's relatives by talking Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young- only to find out that David Crosby is their "family friend" who had recently sat in their same chair at the breakfast table?

16. Who was told within three hours of the trip that they did not have an apartment waiting for them in Minneapolis anymore- despite having sent a rental company a security deposit the previous week?

17. Who, after hearing the opening bars of "Joyful, Joyful" asked angrily "Why does Lauryn Hill have to be such a crazy bitch and not release more music?!" only to be told that Lauryn Hill is in fact bipolar?

18. Who made fun of a slightly W.T./unattractive couple walking into Chili's- only to see the boyfriend kiss his girlfriend's hand and gaze at her adoringly, thus making the judger feel like a first class jackass?

19. Whose main role on the road trip was to clean the thousands of bugs off the windshield at every gas station?

20. Who referred to the attendant at the Green River, CO gas station as a "glandularly challenged giant"?

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Packed my bags last night (pre-flight)

I know I usually yammer on and on before making my point, but I'm going to cut to the chase. I'm flying to Vegas today, and then driving the love of my life here to Minneapolis. The original promises (move to Minneapolis and be my roommate in a sweet apartment!) have been traded in for more modest plans (move to Minneapolis and rent a sweet apartment by yourself because I'm too broke!), but that's alright. He's coming. And life is about to be really, really amazing.

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