Only love can break your heart

"Medium cold press, half shot white chocolate, topped with skim?!" Janet greeted me today.

For at least three years, we have shared this special time together when I return home from school and drive the three blocks to my neighborhood Caribou. When I am gone longer than usual (i.e., this summer), Janet still remembers my order, and asks what has kept me away. Minus the cocky swagger and tired come-ons, Janet is my Sam Malone. I love her.

So when I changed my order up today, ordering a small instead of a medium, she looked at me with concern.

"Have you already come in today?" she asked with a furrowed brow. It was only one p.m. and J-bomb works the longest shifts in coffee shop history. There is no way she would have missed me and she knew it.

I was faced with a tricky decision. Do I lie, say that I (gasp!) betrayed her and visited another coffee shop? Lie and say that I just had lunch and was too full for 16 oz. of caffeinated goodness?

As it always is, the truth was much harder to admit. I can't drink a medium anymore without geeking out and feeling like I might crawl out of my skin. A few months ago, in the midst of finals, I chugged a latte at two a.m. after Tal made it home from the 24 hour Starbucks. When I put the finishing touches on my 15 pager around four, I hopped into my bed and slept like a baby. I woke up rested and completely competent three hours later, ready to start the day. I laughed at all the losers who couldn't handle it, such as my dear friend who sticks to half-caf lest he feel the onset of a panic attack.

It's not like I don't know what happened. I worked two jobs and went to school full time this past semester, so unnatural energy was my only hope at staying afloat. My current situation is... a little bit less intense.

So here I sit, cursing my newly sedentary lifestyle which has obviously led to my pathetic inability to metabolize my one true and great love. With any luck, I am at the end of my transition period and I will soon need caffeine injections to keep me on my toes. When this happens, I know that Janet will be there with open arms. She hasn't let me down yet.