Thursday, May 22, 2008

I have a new stuffed bear named Shantay

Everyone has to have a "type", right? I always thought so, but could never really find similarities in the guys that I have dated. Anyone who can retrace my dating history is also shaking their heads right now. I've liked every type of guy from thugs to preps, whiny emos to low maintenance athletes.

I have now realized what the common thread is. I attract guys from a myriad of backgrounds but only one future. That future is far, far away from me. If you want to get specific, I have yet to date anyone who does not eventually require a long distance relationship.

Naturally, it just happened again. I got smart, though, and confronted the situation head on. We both agreed that it would be best to let things run their course. When his job started (two days after my graduation), we would be rational people who would break it off and start up a civil friendship right off the bat. To the shock of uh, no one, it isn't going quite as smoothly as planned. The last few days have really sucked, and I have been way more emotional than I was supposed to be.

When I came up with this brilliant break up plan, pretty much all my friends told me the same thing. I'm not as strong as I pretend to be, so I could never pull off an unemotional breakup. Joel was the only one who really thought I could do it. I should mention that when Joel describes why he likes people, he sometimes uses phrases like "I don't think I really like him, I probably just had a high oxytocin release and my body felt a rush". (In other words, we feed off each other like the dating freakshows that we are).

Sometimes I am really good at ending these posts with relatively good insight or a solution. Tonight, I just pretty much want to scream a long stream of swear words at my computer and slam it shut. So... I guess that means my epiphany hasn't hit me yet. Bueller? Anyone?