Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Do you like CSI? And Miller Lite? Okay, proceed.

A few weeks ago, in a dive bar across the city, I found myself in a situation for which I wasn't quite prepared. I was there to send a friend off to school for the year, and was the only single gal in a group filled with single guys. It was... confusing. Okay, it was wonderful. Being an opportunist, I decided to dive right in; being an enabler, my friend Bobby handed me a liter of beer to get my flirt juices flowing.

For a while, I was really working it. I chatted one up, got bored, moved on to his friend. They were just like the guys I always seemed to be attracted to in college- great conversationalists, a complete lack of fashion*, sarcastic to a fault, and open to talking to a laid-back chick who was wearing a cardigan and Converse even though one of the other girls at the bar had on $150 stilettos.

I drained my liter, and waited patiently for my new friend to do the same. We began talking about a trip to Duluth I was taking with Jenna the next day. As I described our grand plans, I mentioned that we would be touring Glensheen. It's this great old mansion on the lake, and if you don't know the story behind it, you should read about it here. You should also read this book.

Anyway, as I detailed why touring this estate is actually quite cool, I began rambling and eventually ended with "so basically, I think it's like you tour this crazy old blood-spattered mansion".

BLOOD. SPATTERED. MANSION. Wave the crazy flags, nut job is coming fast out of the blocks. Her breaks appear to be cut.

Up until that point, I thought that my complete lack of interest in a new relationship was what had kept me single for the past few months. Now I realize that I haven't flirted with a sober-ish guy in years, and so I have an inability to filter out graphic depictions of real-life Law and Order scenes. Solution? I either need to start luring in alcoholics or true crime fanatics. Oooooh, an alcoholic who reads non-fiction murder mysteries. Brilliant.

*If my romantic life were an SAT analogy question, it would read- Gina : free beer t-shirts :: Moths : Flame


J D said...

not a huge fan of either CSI or Miller Lite, so i guess that takes me out of the running, haha...

Teresa said...

Juuuuust laughed out loud. By myself. As I have a tendency to do while reading your blog.