I'll have another basket of biscuits... and some information on credit card fraud

I returned to the Mecca that is Red Lobster last night, enjoying some quality salmon and veggies as well as the biscuits that make me believe in the afterlife. I was already feeling pretty satisfied when our server (not waitress) came up to take Mike's card. She began to ask questions about the bank we both use, saying that in the past they had somehow managed to shut down her account completely, and charge her for things she never bought. Both of us vowed to be more dilligent about checking our bank statements... something I pretty much only do when rent is coming up. Generally that requires a few extra shifts at Flat Top and me vowing to stop drinking so much coffee. No harm, no foul.

Of course today I log on for the first time in weeks, straining to remember my password and the freaking security question that it asks me every time.

What sports team do you love to see lose?
I tried the Lakers, the Packers, and eventually got through with the Yankees. I am already annoyed that you can fail the security question three times and still get your account information, but also wondering why I hated the Yankees at some point in time. (Answer: I opened my account in October 2004, which would have been a few days after the Twins lost AL division title to the Yankees. Thank you Wikipedia.)

I take one look at my account balance and see that I have an unexplained $160 charge pending that I did not authorize. I begin freaking out a little bit, and call Sheila for some rent money. I think she was waiting for this call; it is, after all, the 15th of the month.

At this point, Liz comes in and informs me that the sweet online makeup deal I found a week ago might actually be a huge credit card scam, and she is wondering where I got the information for it. Call Em, who knows as much as I do. Freak-out mode is now in full swing, so I call my bank for explanation of where the charge is coming from. My belief in God (via the biscuits) is revoked as I begin talking to Justin, whose uses helpful phrases include:

• "I have noooo idea what this means"
• "This is extremely weird"
• "Well you did withdraw today... a roll of quarters"

I kindly explain to Justin that a roll of quarters is ten dollars, and then ask him to call his supervisor. I know this will come as a shock, but the bank is now closed and I haven't heard back.

Downside: I may be a victim of credit card fraud, and Justin is my only hope. My belief in one dollar makeup means that I am still the most gullible person on earth. My mother is annoyed that she is saving me from eviction (again.)

Upside: I may soon be able to say that Red Lobster saved me from bad credit. I'm smarter than a bank teller, so I still may have some job options.