Sunday, May 30, 2010

Leave a mark they can't erase

I remember a particularly wheezy walk to class up Bascom Hill one Monday my junior year. I had a quick thought- I really, really cannot allow my underperforming lungs to take in any more shishah* on the weekends. (* Easy, narcs, it's a perfectly legal flavored tobacco that you smoke out of a very illegal-looking device.)

I started to take it a bit easier, but didn't stop entirely. Then, when I left Madison, I also left behind my shishah-loving roommates, and so my habit fell off the radar entirely.

Until last night. Oh, how lovely it was.

Then this afternoon, I struggled through the first 10 minutes of my run. I was considering backing down from my favorite route when Jay-Z's 'Young Forever' came on. It was practically a dare to give into my sad little black lungs.

I'm not sure of the exact lyrics but allow me to paraphrase:

"Hey granny, you can't smoke then run a mile? You can't turn that asthmatic grimace to a smile? I can still see your street sign, you pansy but no, by all means turn backsy." Then it goes into details of hot young women hopping onto the hood of Jay's car, and eventually into a very catchy chorus that shot me from an embarrassing slack-jawed shuffle into a defiant 4-mile personal record.

In reality, Jay is talking about leaving a legacy and truthfully, I was always terrible at functioning the day after going out. But when the words "Forever Young" are repeatedly blared into your ears while you heave your weary body down a road that leads to your elementary school playground, the only reaction possible is to take off like a spooked horse.

I'm still young, I know, and the quarter life crisis isn't nearly as sexy to blog about as it is when John Mayer sings of it. But last night when I tempted fate by reverting back to college habits, what I was really thinking was the same thing my friends and I silently acknowledge each time the opportunity to go out presents itself:

How much of my past life can I still have?

The answer, I'm finding out, is as much as I want- so long as I'm prepared to work a little harder at getting back on pace the next day. Also, it helps to have my girl Bey's manfriend cued up for motivation.


Teresa said...

Don't worry, I'll always find you sexy.

And the blogosphere is the perfect recipient for mild complaints now and then.

Mary said...

hey lady,
roxy and I have been talking a lot about "how much of our past life we get back" coming back from the two year village coma will be hard, but I am hoping that you will be up for the "forever young" challenge...
or the slightly more trasy; boxed wine on your slasher couch works for me too. you decide.