Thursday, December 10, 2009

Good coach, bad coach

The downside of being the office bitch is that you don't ever make decisions. For something as small as a client package, there's a proofing process. Lately when it comes time to make a decision in the real world, I hesitate. Who, me? What the hell do I know?

This would be a problem no matter what my non-work life consisted of, but it's certainly an issue when I'm at practice and I have have 25 dancers looking at me expectantly. Can we keep that leap? What formation should we move to next? Do we have to do the move that resembles the most embarrassing choreography from West Side Story?

Most of the time at dance, I feel confident that I know what I'm doing. Even if I don't, I fudge it because it's so refreshing to be in the power position for once.

Tonight, two minutes before a basketball performance, a girl on my team got a bloody nose. Not just your average one- the damn thing wouldn't stop no matter what remedy we tried.

She was staring at me nervously, and I was the only coach in sight. Do or die time. This performance was a dress rehearsal for a big competition, and this girl was just added into formation last week. She definitely had some nerves to work out and I didn't want them to be present next Saturday.

"I can't tell you what to do," I said as kindly as I could muster. "But I think you should try if you can. Wad up some TP and stuff it up there. If it starts to gush or the Kleenex is falling out, then run off. Can you just try?"

Clearly, this was not the answer she was looking for. Yet off she went, her left nostril plugged up with only seconds before the music started. She performed the entire routine like a champ- at one point, the height of her kicks had me pondering what would happen if she accidentally kicked her nose and the TP popped out.

"Man," she said as I met her on the edge of the floor walking off. "It sure was hard to breathe!"

Then she unplugged herself and we all laughed. No blood, anywhere. Perhaps the best remedy for a bloody nose is one that's never been tried before- 75 high kicks in 3 minutes, while completely panic-stricken.