Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Up onto the top love, everyday

Has it really been a year? Somehow, it seems like it has been a day and an eternity all at once. When Dan passed away, I didn't know how to express the communal feelings of emptiness, heartbreak, and mortality that my friends and I experienced. A year has passed, and I still feel like properly memorializing him on this page is an exercise in futility. 

I do know that we miss him every day. That I get phone calls from friends when a long-forgotten memory spontaneously pops up. I know that his family has shown impossible amounts of strength in an impossible situation. I know that he'd never stand for us not going to WeFest this year. That he'd be so pissed about Gaborik leaving, and so proud that the Twins have 3 playing in the All-Star game. I know that on the day I forgot to call his mom back, I heard his song, Dave Matthews "Everyday", on the radio three times (he was nothing if not persistent). I know that I would never have won the "Gina vs. the boys" shotgunning competition contest a few months ago if he had been present. I know that he would have ribbed Bobby with all of us when Bob's "perfect cabin weekend" boasted 40 degree days and strong winds off the lake. 

I know that we're all better people for having known him, better friends for having experienced his fierce brand of loyalty. I know that each year will continue to get easier and more difficult- we will become more accustomed to his absence, but will never stop wondering where he'd be if he hadn't left us so soon.