Dancing at discos (eating cheese on toast)

My final Women's Studies class is a seminar where we all read a shitload of memoirs, then discuss them. Seriously, that's it. It's essentially a very angry book club, the content of the books being almost as radical as the opinions being voiced each week.
For our final assignment, one option is to write an excerpt of our own memoir. In ten to twelve pages, I am expected to describe "the essence of me".
Some people in my class have amazing stories of fleeing from Sudan, or coming out to their fundamentalist parents. My memories are in comparison, pretty pathetic. It's kind of hard to spin your middle class, suburban Catholic upbringing into a page turner.
The idea of emerging from college without any worthwhile, interesting memories was starting to make me a little nauseas. Then I remembered David Sedaris. He's an author who has the ability to spin even the most normal moment into something deeper and more humorous. Channeling Sedaris is my only hope, I think.
Here are some of the different topics I have to cover, and the stories I've chosen for each. If the outcome isn't totally dismal, I'll post the final product.

Gender identity: Dressing Taylor up in my yellow tap dancing costume by convincing him somehow that it was an authentic Power Rangers costume. (Bonus Points: The yellow ranger was still an Asian girl named Trini. Also, I have photographic evidence!)

Faith/Religion: Legitimately believing I was the next Virgin Mary when I was eight (Bonus Points: My professor is Buddhist!)

Sexuality: Taken care of. My lovely friend Annie has agreed to test out a strip aerobics class with me next week. (Bonus Points: My professor, drowning in a sea of lost virginity narratives, will be delighted to read a story that does not require a mental image of a naked student and her high school boyfriend Greg!)