Signs of aging

I turned 26 a few weeks ago. While I had no reservations about turning this particular age, I have noticed over the past few weeks that I am becoming a flat-out grandma. To wit:

When I started to feel a bit tipsy at the bar on my birthday, I turned away free drinks from my comrades in favor of large glasses of ice water. (However, I did wake up sans hangover so let's call that a half-win.)

I recently googled local car washes to determine which one had the best customer appreciation program.

After agreeing to meet a friend for lunch, she sent me a meeting request via Outlook. I accepted.

I went to H&M to peruse their lady undergarments, and came out instead with a three-pack of wool socks.

The good news? I'm in great company. My old roommate gave her boyfriend a serving bowl for his birthday and he freaking LOVED it. No judgment, at all, but just imagine any of us giving that gift as 22-year-olds. We're old, y'all. Stock up on the Gold Bond, large-print books, and find yourself a good denture doctor. The next 70 years are going to be wild.