Tight Little Package... Affirmative.

I work in a chicks-only office, so my male contact is limited to a sweaty chainsmoking UPS man:

a Staples guy that looks like a meth-ed out Matt Dillon (or should I just say a present-day Matt Dillon?) :

and a batch of accountants who work across the hall.

Naturally, my slow days are spent annoyed that I can’t have work crushes a la Pam and Jim. It’s gotten to the point where a quick wave from one of the nerd-hots as they walk into their office in the morning brightens my day.

Today I walked out of my door as hottie CPA emerged from their office. VICTORY! My brain yelled in a Johnny Drama voice (I almost deleted this until I realized I had snagged BOTH Dillon brothers in 6 sentences! Best post ever! Enjoy this embarrassing picture of Dillon bro #2!)

Back to the story...

“Hi There!” he said in the Dave Chapelle white guy voice. (Except, that’s his real voice.)

“Happy Friday!” I returned, as I swung my water pitcher up into the air for a salute. The only way this could have gotten hokier would have been if I was wearing tap shoes.

“Indeed! Have a good one!” he said enthusiastically as he got onto the elevator.

Aaaaand that’s my work crush. Pretty exciting, huh? Daydreams generally involve pumpkin patches, a fluffy and lovable dog named Champ, and many scenes from the movie Pleasantville with our faces superimposed over the original characters’.

Now I'm going to read something really intelligent that will make me forget that the majority of my brain is apparently filled with Dillon brothers references.