It's a Summer Shandy kind of day

In fifth grade, after completing DARE, I gave my mom a loose leaf sheet of paper that read something like, "I, Gina XX, promise to never drink alcohol or do drugs EVER because they will ruin your life."

"See that?" I asked her, pointing to the wet, crimson signature at the bottom of the page. "That's my BLOOD."

It was nail polish, which my mother pointed out. I was serious about my pledge, but not serious enough to pierce my skin or figure out how to manipulate the blood onto the paper.

My mom also spent a great deal of time stressing that alcohol wasn't bad for you if you were of age, and if you were responsible about it. As DARE was aimed towards the severely underage, they didn't really make distinctions between booze and meth. It was all one tied together in one bundle of accidental death by overdose.

My younger brother (who turns 17 next week) is similarly militant about drinking. Obviously, this is a good thing. He's in high school and plays sports, so it's important that he not be hammered in the parking lot after school. I'm glad that he is hanging out with a good crowd, but his views on drinking are so hilarious that I wonder if it's possible that he recently went through the now-defunct program that made such an impact on me as a ten year old.

Last weekend, while off to the beach with the Madison boys, he asked me what we were going to do all day.

"Not sure," I said. "Probably grill out, drink some beer, maybe go in the water?"

"WOW. NICE. ALCOHOLIC," was his response.

This is when I went into my bi-weekly rant that includes me stating the following:

1. I am nearly 24 years old
2. It is possible to drink without getting drunk
3. I am insanely careful about drinking if I know I have to drive later. One to two beers, max
4. If I were ever to get too drunk to drive, my friends would cut off my legs before they would let me behind the wheel

I don't know why I feel the need to justify my very legal, very normal behavior. No matter what, his four-fold counter argument reads:

1. Alcohol tastes like CRAP
2. You don't even know how to have fun without drinking, do you?
3. All the kids that drink at my school are total loser burnouts
4. That makes you, by default, a loser burnout

Again, happy that he isn't getting in trouble. Still, I can't help but respond...

"Let me know how that theory works out for you in college. Keep that up and you're either going to be hanging out with Mormons or kids with gluten allergies."