Friday, April 4, 2008

I'm a new soul, I came to this strange world

This was the fourth most popular story on CNN today... I would totally rip on that more, but I'm clearly part of the problem because I'm sharing the link.

I can't lie and say that I've always been opposed to facebook relationship status updates- I was committed via FB to my first boyfriend for over a year during the beginning of college. Excessive wall posting and picture tagging wasn't enough back then. I wanted full disclosure of our commitment. Plus after a lifetime of being single, facebook was the most convenient and socially acceptable way to express a virtual "suck on that" to all the boys from my past.

I learned my lesson when it all came to a startling halt post breakup. Was I now single, or mysteriously unattached? Needing to untag or simply remove this picture? This album? Even worse, what the hell do I do about all those drunken wall post declarations? It was both scary and sad to know that within seconds, I could effectively erase all public record of a relationship that had once meant so much to me.

A girl in the article proudly states that our generation has no shame, and is willing to publicly announce their entire range of emotions to anyone who will listen. Speak for yourself, honey. For me, FB relationships and constant status updating are good for nothing (except adding fuel to the fire of our emo-tastic generation). If there is anything I've learned in the four years of college, it's the importance of keeping your cards close to your vest.

Okay, so I made one exception a few months back. I realized that I had not declared my interest in men on facebook. Knowing that the inevitable "Gina is now interested in men" would show up on everyone and their mom's (literally, people's moms are now on facebook?) news feeds, I decided that I had to make the change. For two very specific reasons...

1. Joel informed me that leaving this field blank automatically makes you seem like you are hiding something. If you are straight, why would you not post it? If you are gay, you are a coward. (** update, Joel doesn't think he used the word 'coward'. We agreed, though... my blog, my twisted version of the truth. It's staying **)

2. I'm a women's studies major who has had to deal with the lesbian question a thousand times since my declaration sophomore year. Darling as my red-blooded straight male friends are, they can't seem to understand why I dedicate my time to women's issues if I don't want to sleep with them.

There it is. I'm interested in men, and all you stalker bitches are going to have to actually speak to me in order to find out which one in particular. Also, if I kiss you and you relationship status me, I'm probably going to spread heinous rumors about you.