- Through centuries of inbreeding, British people now only have like 15 faces they could be born with.
- List of resemblances of their faces: Simon Pegg, Jamie Oliver, Alan Cumming
- The drummer is hot sans that douche fedora
- The ukelele dude (simon pegg) looked like a drunk mumbling along with the song.
- You think you have a small mouth? Did you see the lead singer?
Friday, September 2, 2011
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Your girl is lovely, Hubbel
SPOILER ALERT: This post contains plot spoilers of the 1973 film The Way We Were, starring Barbra Streisand and Robert Redford. If you have been meaning to see this movie for the past 38 years, but have not, please do not continue reading any further.
In the end scene of The Way We Were, Babs (Katie Morosky) and Bobby (Hubbel Gardiner) spot one another across the street, years after they divorced. The theme music swells as they approach and embrace one another, while Hubbel's new wife stands at his side watching the scene unfold. An awkward conversation ensues, leading to an even more awkward goodbye where Katie invites them over for a drink. A few moments later, he crosses the street to talk to her again.
This whole scene is awesome – first, she mentions that she is a better loser than he, having had more practice. And then after a brief silence she says, “Your girl is lovely, Hubbel.”
This is such a bitingly perfect compliment. The blonde charmer is a girl, an object that accompanies Hubbel but is too afraid to speak up even when he is reunited with his greatest love. She is also everything Katie could never be – exceedingly beautiful and content to live non-controversially as the wife of a Hollywood screenwriter. Meanwhile, Katie is still standing on the side of a New York street corner screaming at passersby to sign a petition, showing that her fiery passion hasn’t diminished at all. The disparity in their goals and personalities worked for a brief time, but it never could have lasted; though he was at his best when constantly challenged by Katie, Hubbel was not strong enough to sustain the counter-culture lifestyle. Somehow, this scene acts as evidence that their decision to split was the right one, while simultaneously showcasing the regret and “what if” that Katie and Hubbel will always feel.
This ending, in case you can’t tell, slays me. First, I am more Katie than I am blonde charmer. Second, I’ve dated more Hubbels than I have political activists. And third, I am excellent at projecting. So any time I catch this scene, I can be found sniffling and moaning at the injustice of it all. As LH would say, you should see this movie if you want to. Even though now I’ve given away the ending.
__
A note to scriptwriters, producers, directors and other Hollywood movers and shakers: Should anyone ever bring up the possibility of remaking The Way We Were starring, say, Jessica Biel and Ryan Reynolds, I will personally quit my day job and protest, Katie Morosky style, outside your shoot everyday until you are forced to shut down production. There are some things that should remain untouched.
Xenophobe
xen·o·phobe
[zen-uh-fohb]

Webinar
Villains
Earlier this week, my roommate and I called the police after witnessing what looked like two villains breaking the law.
First, we heard the sound of glass breaking. We looked up, but pretty much ignored it. Then, we heard more glass break and we rushed to our window to see what was going on in the street below. Across the street, a man was kicking in a door and breaking the glass window of the door. This seemed… strange. But not as strange as when another guy came out, also bashed the window in, then ran back into the building and tried to jump out his first floor (not ground floor, so it was about 7 feet up) window. Not able to break through on his first try, this second man straddled the window while working to bust it open and jump free. Once landing, he ran away.
As you can imagine, many expletives were being shouted the whole time. Glass covered the sidewalk and while it was dark, Roommate and I assumed there was a lot of blood, as well. We live on one of the busiest streets in Minneapolis, so clueless pedestrians were walking past the scene only seconds later, completely unaware that if they turned to their left, some crazy dude covered in blood might be running down the alley toward them.
This is why, even though the action had subsided, Roommate and I decided to call the police. I called 911, quickly informed the operator that it was not an emergency call, then described the incident in full detail, giving descriptive details of the two men we’d seen. (Actually, Roommate described them to me, and then I relayed them to the operator, because it became apparent during this crime watch that I am in need of glasses.)
Within five minutes, the men had returned to the scene, at the exact same time as a single cop car drove down the street. The window jumper taunted the cop, who must have called for backup and after quite a scuffle, the two men were apprehended. Then, being the Law and Order junkies that we are, we wondered if we should go to “give a statement.” I know. We’re losers. But there had been only one cop car dispatched to the scene, and now there were no fewer than eight cop cars outside our window, so it seemed like things had escalated to the point where perhaps we could clarify what had started the whole thing.
And so we went down there, flagged down a cop, and gave our report. I still don’t know if this was helpful, or necessary, but I suppose more info is always better in cases like this. Plus, we all know that in cop movies, they interview the people across the street with a good vantage point, so why not just jump the gun there, eh? We were thanked for our call and statement, and informed that we had been witnessing the tail end of a domestic dispute. While this was significantly less exciting than what we originally assumed had happened, I was still very glad that we took the initiative to call. It was apparent by the way they were taken into custody that help was needed, even if to just remove them from the situation and get everyone calmed down. Moreover, despite living in a busy hub of the city, I do consider my neighborhood safe and I’d like to keep it that way. Last, as Eric reminded me, I defied the bystander effect that everyone learns about in Psych 101 by calling in even though I wasn’t sure if it was necessary to do so.
Villains? Perhaps not. Still, something wacky happened and I’m glad that by being proactive, we helped to return the peace and minimize damage and injury.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Taylor Swift
My friend Emily thinks this obsession is extremely entertaining because aside from my love for T-Swizzle, I tend to be a music bitch. I know I love Taylor Swift because she is everything I am not.
Taylor is blonde, tall and extremely lean; I'm brunette, of average height, and, in the words of another blonde pop goddess, my hips don't lie.
Further, Taylor is committed to the idea of living a fairytale even though her interchangeable Prince Charmings seem to not be as committed as the Disney princes of yore. On the one hand, you want to shake her and say, "Listen sweetie, if you really can't see that John Mayer is going to use and abuse, then you need some serious counseling." On the other, you want to say, "Mad props on the multiple tabloid covers that publicly dogged him, and also the hit single."
The other thing I love about Taylor Swift is that despite her lyrics being annoyingly superficial, and not even making sense, I find myself belting them out. The best example:
Today was a fairytale - I wore a dress, you wore a dark grey t-shirt.
You told me I was pretty when I looked like a mess - today was a fairytale.
Girlfriend, what kind of dress were you wearing that it paled in comparison to Prince Charming's grey t-shirt? Did you sew it from a sheet or something? Did you fall into a mud pit while you were dancing and kissing in the rain? I mean, give some context. Or don't, I'll sing it anyway.

Sing out
Random roommates
Quit

Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Om Nashi Me
Monday, August 22, 2011
Napoleon Dynamite
Friday, August 19, 2011
Mature



Thursday, August 18, 2011
Lewis, Jenny
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Key takeaways
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
John Thune

When he's trying out his sexy librarian look, he looks like this:

I know next to nothing about the strategy of entering and exiting the presidential race. Perhaps it's too late for a guy who's more substance than flash to enter this cycle's ideologically driven Republican primary. However, I just have a feeling that Thune, or someone like him, is being prepped by the Republican establishment to come in and take the race over once the nutters exhaust themselves.
No, I didn't wake up a Republican this morning and no, I'd never vote for this guy. I just think it would be a victory for the whole country if we had two educated candidates bringing conscientious discourse back into presidential politics. Can you imagine if we had two policy wonks going at it in the debates, instead of incendiary, talking-point obsessed bobbleheads? The heads of the Fox News blondies, and Al Sharpton, would explode. Soundbites might have to be a whole 45-seconds due to the nuances being discussed. Perhaps most importantly, people would realize that politics is actually kind of a dry topic, after you take out gay marriage and abortion. The mainstream media would lose advertising dollars due to low interest and... as a result, election night could be free of Will.I.Am holograms.
On the other hand, my liberal-minded amigos remind me that the current field is good news for our bedraggled Obama. And there are few things I want more in life than to see what a lame duck Obama could accomplish. So perhaps I should count my blessings that Crazy Eyes is leading the pack right now. I just don't think it speaks very highly of our country.
Politicos with knowledge of campaign entry strategy - am I way off-base? Is it too late for someone with a lower profile to enter the race? If not, is there someone else you think is going to pop in? Most importantly, who's going to buy me a cookie if I somehow end up being right about this?
Friday, August 12, 2011
Ignorant tight-ass club
I did catch some soundbites, which was a terrible idea. While I imagine much of the night was spent one-upping one another to determine the rightiest of the right, I also know that if a quote makes the 60-second clip wrap-up of a two-hour debate, it's probably pretty damn inflammatory.
So rather than spending my night wondering how my beloved Minnesota could produce two Republican presidential candidates who are equally incompetent in different ways, I watched my favorite clip from The West Wing.
(If I were on the communications team for the Obama reelection committee, I'd commit this clip to memory. You're going to need some serious vitriol to combat these fools.)
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Hipsters

Much like the fake rastafarians that ruled my high school in the early ‘00s, I think hipsters spend a lot of money to look like they don't have any money. This frustrates me, as I'm the girl who tries to make Target clothing look fancy.
To be fair, not all hipsters look like your grade school librarian - some are super cute, and might lead you to say things like, "Could I ever rock teal high-waisted denim pants?" The answer to that question should almost always be no.
Don't discount hipsters trends all together, though. For example, my roommate just purchased these shorts from Anthropologie:

She got them hemmed so they, in her words, looked "a little less Troop 172 leader and a little more 1940's pin-up." She looks fabulous in them - huzzah! Long live high-waisted bottoms that are somehow flattering!
Where was I? This is a very disjointed post. Let's return back to the golden rules of fashion. Coco Chanel once said, “Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and remove one accessory.”
I think hipsters and budding hipsters might need a similar guideline. How about:
"Before leaving the house, remove clothing items and/or facial hair patterns until your appearance is less than 30% ironic in nature."
If ironic math isn't your bag, follow this rule: If the golden couple ^ of hipster fashion would not wear what you're wearing, take it off.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Freelance
Over the last year, I’ve freelanced for three local marketing and advertising agencies. I love freelancing because it usually fosters a symbiotic relationship – I get great experience for my resume, a natural opportunity to network with other people in my field, and a little financial padding. The agency who hires me gets short-term, relatively cheap labor from someone they trust. The recession has caused my industry to reevaluate the need for full-time employees, which is a major source of anxiety for my marketing amigos. One upside of the downsizing is that freelancing opportunities are (at least in my experience) relatively easy to come by.
My third project this year is coming to a head, and I’ll be traveling the next four weekends to produce events in some pretty baller cities. My easy-going nature is a benefit in many event situations – I am an expert at rolling with the punches. However, the events I’m producing this month are very structured, and may require me to push back if things don’t go as planned.
Much like Beyonce has created Sasha Fierce as her onstage persona, I’ve decided the best way to approach these events is to create a badass event alter ego.
So far, I’ve come up with Badd Roxy. I think it needs some work, to be honest. Any suggestions? Please leave them in the comments. Having a perfect name is really the first step to rocking these events, I think.

The third picture is my go-to dance move, actually. Unfortunately, it is usually performed in yoga pants and a t-shirt instead of a mesh, House of Dereon two-piece ensemble.
Oh! And here’s a list of freelancing tips I published a few months ago.


















